Over the summer I had the opportunity to visit Yellowstone National Park with some coworkers. As we were driving along, Heidi, our unofficial tour-guide, mentioned the great forest-fire of ’88, and from there began to talk about the health of the trees today. One thing she said really struck me. In essence:
“The trees now are too close together. Because of this they are able to protect each other from the wind, but that in turn keeps them from becoming strong, and then it’s easy for them to be destroyed by little things such as beetles. When they’re farther apart, they’re less protected from the wind, and so become stronger.”
At least that’s how my brain, always searching for symbolism, remembers what she said. But it made me think: sometimes, when life gets hard, it might seem like we’re on our own. Like there’s no one there who can help us. And while we can always turn to God, I believe that he will only help us as much as we absolutely need. Life is supposed to be difficult; to be so hard we’re not sure how we can make it through. But those are the times when we grow the most; when we’ve been pushed so hard the only way to make it through is to be stronger than we thought we were – and so we become stronger than we used to be.

I remember my first month of college. My first month of living on my own. No parents and only one person that was not a new acquaintance. As much as I loved it, it was so difficult. It was stressful. Really, really stressful. But it taught me to be independent. I learned to be responsible, to be self-disciplined, to get along with roommates. It increased my confidence exponentionally. There was never a time, throughout that whole month – or since then, for that matter – when I was not happy with my decision to move out on my own.

Life is hard. But it’s the hard times that enable us to learn and grow like we were sent here to do. And as we learn to deal with these hard times, our confidence and happiness grow. It is the hard times that make life worth it.

Dead End?

This past weekend I had the opportunity to hike Buckskin Gulch with some amazing friends. While hiking through one of the world's longest slot canyons, we came upon a spot where, looking ahead, it seemed there was a dead end. Our limited vision showed no signs of the canyon continuing. However, we had faith and continued walking towards the supposed "dead end". As we did so, we found the canyon curving sharply to the right. It indeed continued, opening more beautiful canyon to our eyes. This happened a few more times during our adventure and I couldn't help but think of the scripture 1 Corinthians 10:13, that the Lord would "make a way to escape". I thought about how sometimes you feel like you're doing all you can to move forward in life, but the future doesn't look the way you think it should look. You wonder what you're supposed to do, why the Lord's put a "dead end" in the way. If you stop moving forward, trusting in the Lord, you'll never see the escape, or the way that the canyon curves to allow you to progress in the journey. During Relief Society on Sunday we were talking about Paul's conversion. As we read Acts 9:6, I noticed how the Lord only told Paul to go to the city, He didn't tell him the whole plan. So it is with us. The Lord gives us line upon line, one step at a time. Once we get there, He can tell us more. I think if we were to hear the whole plan it might be a little overwhelming.

I came across this commercial a day or so ago that demonstrates our need to move forward. Trapped on an Escalator - YouTube. When we find that things aren't going the way we think they should, maybe we should re-evaluate what we can do. Sometimes the Lord expects us to find our own solutions because we have the ability to make the difference. The Lord can work miracles in our lives, but sometimes we're waiting so much on those BIG miracles that we miss seeing the small miracles- the power that He's already given us and our ability to make our circumstances better. So keep moving forward!

The Value of Adventure

Presentations – BYU–Idaho

We're Not That Different in the End

A lot has changed in my life over the last couple of weeks. I up and moved to Page, Arizona where I will be teaching 2nd grade in a school with 60% Navajo students. I haven't really had experience with Navajos, but I love learning about different cultures and am excited about the new adventure. Today I was talking to a friend who told me of a trip he took with a service group to a Navajo reservation. He related how there were gang-type groups of Native Americans who would graffiti the walls and how the government had paid money for all of the walls to be repainted every year. That several years previous, the government had given them the materials necessary to build fences and none of the places had fences. How they wouldn't get up and work to fix anything. Instead they sat around complaining about what they didn't have while the volunteers worked hard to get them what they felt they needed. Now I'm not saying Navajos are lazy and ungrateful, I haven't met any yet that are and I know that there are all types in all cultures. But, I began to think about what he told me, I realized that we are not immune from that type of behavior. The Lord gives us everything we need to create a successful and joyful life yet, there are times when we sit there and complain about what we don't have and how we deserve more. We're the ones sitting, watching and expecting the Lord to do all the work while we reap the benefits. Everything we have comes from the Lord and we don't always choose to focus on what we have or the fact the Lord has helped us obtain it. Instead we're wondering why certain things have or haven't happened in our lives. I told this friend that some of the Navajo here don't even have running water and he responded, "I don't feel sorry for them, they can get it if they want to." It made me wonder if I'm missing out on any blessings that are available to me because of my stubbornness. The Lord has promised us a lot more than running water if we but come unto Him, are we doing our small part to obtain it? If I by chance, happen to meet a Navajo who is like me friend described, I'll be able to relate. Because in the end, we're not all that different.

Holes

Here's a writing piece I wrote my freshman year of college.
I remember it as a perfectly warm day in May. I felt some nervousness as I situated myself in the kayak and looked down the river. This would be my first river run in a kayak. Good thing my experienced dad would be beside me the whole time. He scanned the river, "See that hole straight across from you? That's a nasty hole, I don't think you're ready for it, but the best path for these rapids is on the other side of that hole. So what I want you to do," he continued, "Is to ferry on up the river and get tot he other side of the hole. Just don't hit that hole." He warned me.
I nodded and looked at the rapids I would have to face. Excitement and nervousness filled my body. I slid myself down from the bank, into the river and began paddling hard. All too soon, however, I noticed the rapids quickly approaching and realized that I wouldn't make it far enough across the river. I was headed right for the hole! I turned by boat forward so I could at least meet my challenge face on. As I saw my opposition, a sheer look of terror spread across my face, "could I make it through this?" I wondered. The waves came crashing around me, and I felt the exhilaration of kayaking a river. After the rapids, I looked back through what I had gone through, "I went over that" I thought, amazed. "If I did that, maybe I can conquer this river!" My dad caught up with me, I was still breathing hard, trying to calm myself down after all the excitement. I turned to him with a big smile, "That was fun!" I exclaimed. I've learned that the river of life is much the same way; it's not always smooth going, but the rough spots make it interesting, You may be frightened at the sight of a big challenge, but after it's all over, you look back and realize how good that experience was for you. These holes in life are where you gain courage and grow the most.

Finding our own path

"No one knows I'm out here" I thought. "No one will know to come searching for me. It could be days before anyone wanders out this way." I was alone and lost in the unfamiliar wilderness. Earlier that morning I had prayed that I would learn from my solitary road trip. As soon as those words came out, I realized that it was a mistake to ask for that, so I quickly added "but keep me safe." But it was too late, the words had already been spoken and I felt that there would be some kind of predicament ahead. So there I was, in Arches National Park. It had been a wonderful drive with beautiful scenery. I chose to hike Devil's Garden Primitive Loop because it was a longer hike which meant less tourists, more solitude. Plus, longer hikes usually have the best scenery. This was definitely the case with Devil's Garden. I felt like a giddy school girl, skipping down the trail and every time I turned a corner I would clap my hands in joy to see as I witnessed a new landscape as amazing as the last. I was in my element hiking through the sand and climbing over the sandstone rocks. Half way through the hike I came to Double O' Arch where I saw a sign with arrows indicating the direction to the main trail. It seemed to be directing hikers through the Double O Arch to the other side. After taking a short side trail to see the Dark Angel, I headed back and through Double O Arch. I'm still not exactly sure where I went wrong because I was following a beaten path which led me to a canyon where I had to down climb. At one point in the down climb, it was necessary to straddle a branch and climb down. This seemed a little odd for me. I'm not unfamiliar with this type of canyoneering, but it seemed out of place for this hike. As I figured out a way to get down, the thought crossed my mind "What if I need to come back up, will I be able to do it?" But I had followed a trail here so this had to be the right way. I continued down and out of the canyon and followed the tracks for aways, but then I noticed the tracks growing sparser and sparser until the only tracks I could see seemed to be rabbit tracks. Out in the wilderness, I generally have some sense of direction and know which way to go, so I had hiked in the direction where I felt the hike would lead me. This led me to some ledges which gave me a better view of the area. I searched for any signs of trails or the parking lot or any kind of marker that I could make my way towards and although I could see aways out, I found no help in the landscape. I tried to suck the last of my water out of my camelback and felt the dryness in my throat. The thunder in the distance only added to the drama. Part of me was sure that if I kept going in the direction I was headed, I would find a trail, but there was another feeling telling me maybe I needed to go back to the log and climb back up, retrace my steps and find my way. Going back didn't sound very adventurous and would take time, I was aways from the canyon, but I knew I was lost so I said a quick prayer asking Heavenly Father which way I should go and felt that I should go back. So I swallowed some pride and headed back. Along the way I noticed a crudely constructed cairn (a pile of rocks that marks the way for hikers). "Perfect!" I thought feeling relieved, "I don't have to go all the way back up to the log, I must have gotten off track somewhere around here." I hiked to the cairn, found the footprints going past it and followed them for a little ways in a slightly different direction. I figured this was the main path, that I really didn't need to go back all the way to the branch in the canyon, but I had found the trail I needed. It wasn't too long, however, before these tracks began to thin out and I was again without a trail. I retraced my steps, made it back to a previous trail and tried again. This happened a few times with no luck and I remember praying for a miracle. I knew I couldn't do this on my own. I wanted to hear voices or see something that would direct me in the right way, because my attempts weren't working. It started to sprinkle and this made me a little nervous. I knew there was more slick rock to climb over and wet slick rock is even more slippery and harder to climb. I also had no idea what time it was, I hadn't even thought to bring a flashlight. What if I was still out here when it was dark? I finally decided those who had come down the canyon and made all of the tracks I had been following must have been out exploring on their own. I wasn't going to find the main trail out here and I had already wasted a lot of time being lost. I needed to get back to the sign by the Double O'Arch and make sure that it really told me to go through the arch. This meant I would have to find the canyon that I came down. I looked over in the direction of the canyon and saw a handful of possible canyons . I didn't know if I would be able to find the one I had come down. I again said a silent prayer. It took me looking up a few canyons before I recognized some familiar rocks that I had used to climb down. I climbed back up them and was able to make it back up the log with more ease than it had taken to get down. At the top of the canyon I followed the trail back, but it led me to a cliff with no way to get down. How had I made it to the canyon in the first place? I looked around for sign of the arch, but didn't see anything familiar, so I headed back on the trail looking for more trails to lead me in the right direction, but instead found another canyon which I started to go down, but soon was able to see a straight drop off. No way to get down that canyon either. A little frustrated, I headed back up to the trail. I was again stuck. I must have been very much in my own thoughts on the way here because nothing looked familiar. Then I noticed a small side trail leading up the side of a rock. It looked like a less used path, but I was desperate for anything. I took the path and climbed up the side of the rock which luckily had some good cracks where I could place my feet. Climbing up I thought, "I sure hope I don't have to climb back down this because I don't think I can." But I was already half way up and I didn't have any better ideas. At the top of the rock I searched for the arch, but still couldn't see it. As I was scanning the area, however, I noticed another cairn. I had already been deceived by a cairn on this hike, but this one looked more legit. Not just any hiker would have built this one. I looked for a way to get down to it and had to climb around on the top of the ridge for a little to find a safe way down. Once I arrived on the other side, I hiked to the cairn and noticed another cairn up ahead. I continued to follow cairn after cairn. I was fairly sure that this was the path. But it wasn't until I heard other hikers and saw another sign that my relief was complete. After all that wandering I had made it! And a wise Heavenly Father had answered my prayers of helping me learn something and keeping me safe. As I was wandering about being lost, I realized that there's a path for each of us in this life, a mission for all of us. Sometimes with so many decisions to make it's hard to know which one is right. I thought I was following good trails so many times when I was lost, but they never led me to where I needed to be. Had I just sat down and waited for a miracle, for someone to save me, I would have never found my way out. I had to be proactive...and persistent. This is the way that God leads us, as we go forth, trying to make the best decisions, He guides us. I could tell when I was lost again because there was no trail. The Lord has a way of letting us know when there's a better option and then we reevaluate, just like the many times I reevaluated my route and often we have to go back and remember what's most important in life, what our goals are. As we're journeying through we have to be searching for signs that we're on the right track. After a lot of searching I was finally able to find a cairn, a legit cairn. When we are on the right track, there's a peaceful feeling that accompanies it, that lets us know we're doing what the Lord wants us to be doing. There is a difference, however between the cairns on the trail and the one that other travelers had set up. We may feel happy or that we're having a good time, but that's not quite the joy that accompanies one who has found their path in life. You can imagine the joy I felt as I stepped off the trail into the parking lot. I took a big drink of water from the fountain and filled my camelback. It was so refreshing! I imagine that's how we'll feel when we return after successfully completing our sojourn on this earth.

Anchored

I was with a group of friends kayaking upstream through the Black Canyon, only a short ways from being able to see Hoover Dam from the river. We had spent half of the previous day and the first part of this particular day paddling hard upstream, figuring out that the closer you are to the side of the river, the more progress you could make. We had to fight to move forward and if you were further from the edge you might be paddling as hard and furious and you could, but not moving up the canyon at all. And you can image what would have happened had we stopped paddling all together. There are some things in life that we should stick close and when we do we progress more rapidly; but that's an analogy for another time...

There were a few spots along the side of the river to explore, alcoves where the you could see the water shine a beautiful shade of aqua. There was also a canyon or two where we could climb up to find natural hot springs. The water had formed a sort of a bay to the side of the river where one of these canyons started so it was a perfect spot to park our kayaks. We moved our boats out of the water and headed off to enjoy the hot springs and eat lunch. While we were gone, water was let out of the dam. We returned to find the water level had risen considerably and our kayaks gone. The only boats that remained were those from other groups that had been tied up. I should have known better! I've always been told to tie up boats in case the water rises, but we weren't going to be gone for very long and we figured it was too much hassle to find a way to tie them.

We live in a world that is ever changing in values and beliefs. Society would have you believe that you need to flow with it. Do that and you'll be up a creek without a boat. Stuck. We need to be anchored to something immovable, something that will stand strong no matter what happens around it. Ether 12:4 and Helaman 5:12 teach us what this anchor should be. Faith and hope in Jesus Christ, in the atonement.

You may want to hear the end of the story. We weren't stranded on the river. The Lord was watching out for us. When the water started to rise and the boats started to float away, a couple happened to be close by and were without even knowing whose boats were unanchored, brought them to higher ground. But I learned my lesson. Even if I don't think I'll be gone long, tie the boats up!